My 10 Least Favourite Movies of the Year

posted in: 2019 Reviews, Pondering | 0

It’s not often I see a movie and don’t get something out of it; I learn about something new or gain a perspective to think about something in a different way. The movies on this following list are no different, but unfortunately, when you set out to create a fantastic movie, it doesn’t always work out. Or, maybe it does work out but the movie doesn’t connect to me. Or, maybe all movies are fantastic, yet some movies are much less fantastic than others. At least the movies on this following list appealed to me enough to view them – I couldn’t see every movie, and a lot of movies didn’t get a look-in. Out of the cinematic delights I did see this year, here are My 10 Least Favourite Movies of 2019.

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My 10 Least Favourite Movies of the Year

10. What Men Want

I’ll tell you what men want; a decent movie (Ha!). I’m pretty sure women want that too. A story about a woman who suddenly hears the inner thoughts of men could have been insightful, or at least hilarious, but it’s neither. The fact that my girlfriend made me pay good money to see this movie really burns me up inside. The original inspiration for this movie, What Women Want, isn’t very good itself, so whaddya expect?

9.   It: Chapter 2

What happened?! To the people behind this movie, you had a 3-hour long made-for-television movie to guide you on what not to do for this sequel and you still created a bloated, repetitive, tonally-awkward, wide-reaching and non-threatening horror film. The first It is so good; the second chapter shouldn’t be on this list. I feel bad for Bill Skarsgard, Bill Hader and James Ransone; they deserve better for their roles in this movie. But the movie lost me with unnecessary time spent with the kids again, unfocused time with the adults, “Angels in the Morning” and zombie spew.

8.   Hellboy

Hellboy was just a hot mess. It’s like the film knew could contain gore and had David Harbour ranting, so it filmed around that. I remember scenes where characters were trying to be cool instead of competent. The film also had bad pacing, and went in so many different directions. I vaguely remember the original Hellboy movies, so I’m not a huge fan of the franchise anyway – I don’t think anyone is a fan of this work.

7.   Wine Country

The aging female favourites of SNL got to have a holiday under the guise that they were making a movie; this is their Grown Ups.

6.   Late Night

Cringe. If you want to write a comedy about privilege, then I don’t think your characters can be successful comedy writers – I’m not going to sympathise with their rich troubles and ignorance anyway. It’s such a shame because a looking forward to a look into the world of late-night talk shows with Emma Thompson; Late Night sounded amazing. And I loved Trainwreck, written by Amy Schumer, so I was looking forward to giving Mindy Kaling a go, but she is yet to win me over.

5.   Men in Black: International

I’m sorry Emma Thompson, you’re on the list again but I promise you, it’s not your fault! This “spin-off” to Men in Black never had the story or humour to ever be any good. It’s almost an impossible task to fill the shoes of nineties Will Smith, and Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth couldn’t come close together. I’d say a lot of people have already forgotten this movie even came out.

4.   Noelle

The inaugural release on Disney+; yikes! If you want to have a plot where Santa is now a woman, then commit! This movie literally spends 2/3 of the movie getting there, and teaching the lead character Noelle valuable lessons when she seems pretty charming in the first place. The production value, casting and direction are abysmal. It’s a joyless Christmas movie. Please get better, Disney+.

3.   The Kitchen

I left the cinema feeling violated by The Kitchen; it’s so callous and cold. I feel like The Kitchen would have been a terrific television show, fleshed out over three seasons, but it’s like the movie took all the darkest scenes imaginable and strung them together for two hours of misery. It feels like all the important character scenes have fallen out, and so the actions taken are barely coherent. The movie actually boasts a great cast, and you can tell Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish and Elisabeth Moss were feeling their characters, but the way the movie was storyboarded and edited never let me get onboard with them. Yuck.

2.   Wounds

I only recently saw Wounds so it’s still clear in my mind. I don’t know what I was supposed to get out of Wounds; all I know is there is a dark void and a lot of cockroaches. I don’t watch a lot of horror movies, but Wounds still felt stale. I didn’t care for the main protagonist and his choices – was he hallucinating half the time or not? I haven’t got the energy to contemplate it, because Wounds was is uninteresting and weird.

1.   Secret Obsession

This is the movie that makes me weary when picking movies off Netflix. Before this year, I never really used my Netflix for movies and I think I was unaware as to how bad they could be. I feel bad even putting this movie on my list because it’s clearly not on the same production level as the majority of movies I see that come out of other studios. Secret Obsessions is like a Hallmark Danielle Steel thriller that would play in Australia at midday during the week on Channel 7 (I’ve never seen a Danielle Steel movie, but this is what I’d imagine it to be 😊) … It’s cool to see Disney Channel alumna Brenda Song is still pursuing acting at least. And with the amount of schlock I didn’t see this year, at least Secret Obsession had enough intrigue to get me to watch the movie – I certainly didn’t watch A Knight Before Christmas. The story is one-dimensional, the suspense is non-existent… AVOID.

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Just like I wrote in My Favourite 10 Movies of the Year post, I’ve also posted the full list of movies I saw this year, so you can see exactly what I had to pick from. Again, this is a list of my least favourite movies, and not necessarily ‘the worst’. I’m sure my opinion is my own and if you are reading this, you might have your own great perceptions. I’d love for you to write some of your least favourite movies of 2019 in the reply section below!

I’m also working on some new ideas, and fun posts to have in February to coincide with the Oscars so look forward to that.

And 2020 is right around the corner! I’m already looking forward to another exciting year 😊

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Cinematic Releases (& DVD Catch-Up)

Abominable

Ad Astra

Aladdin

Alita: Battle Angel

Aquaman

At Eternity’s Gate

Avengers: Endgame

Beautiful Boy

Ben is Back

Booksmart

Brightburn

Brittany Runs a Marathon

Bumblebee

Captain Marvel

Charlie’s Angels

Child’s Play

Cold Pursuit

Dark Phoenix

Destroyer

Detective Pikachu

Doctor Sleep

Dora and the Lost City of Gold

Dumbo

Five Feet Apart

Ford v Ferrari

Frozen II

Gemini Man

Glass

Godzilla: King of Monsters

Good Boys

Green Book

Hellboy

Holmes & Watson

Hustlers

If Beale Street Could Talk

Instant Family

It: Chapter 2

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

Joker

Judy

Knives Out

Last Christmas

Late Night

Long Shot

Mary Poppins Returns

Mary, Queen of Scots

Men in Black: International

Midsommar

Mid90s

On the Basis of Sex

Once Upon A Time in Hollywood

Pet Semetery

Ralph Breaks the Internet

Ready or Not

Rocketman

Serenity

Shazam!

Spider-Man: Far from Home

Stan & Ollie

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Terminator: Dark Fate

The Addams Family

The Dead Don’t Die

The Favourite

The Front Runner

The Hate You Give

The Hustle

The Kitchen

The Lego Movie 2

The Lion King

The Upside

Toy Story 4

Us

Vice

What Men Want

Yesterday

Netflix

Always Be My Maybe

Between Two Ferns: The Movie

El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

Extremely Wicked, Shocking Evil & Vile

In the Tall Grass

Isn’t It Romantic

Marriage Story

Secret Obsession

The Highwaymen

The Irishman

The King

Triple Frontier

Velvet Buzzsaw

Wine Country

Wounds

Disney +

Lady and the Tramp Noelle

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