Folks, I’ve ran out of cinema previews, I’ve avoided YouTube spots; I’ve done everything I can to avoid trailers for this joint, tantalized enough by the mere glimpses I’ve seen of Zazie Beetz posing with a bloody samurai sword in a hotel of evil-doers 😋 Now, it’s not unusual for me to avoid trailers, I will admit, but it does indicate a certain level of anticipation and dedication. A complete opposite route applies to comic book movies like Spider-Man: Brand New Day where getting swept up in the trailer becomes part of the experience. But, with new movies such as this, there’s no more apt metaphor to use – spoilers are the devil.
Asia Reeves (Zazie Beetz) and her young sister Maria (Myha’la) visit a corner store on the run from their abusive father, and um… is that Milo and Tim Tams on the shelf behind them? Sorry, I’m distracted, but do corner stores sell Tim Tams in the US like that, just like we sell American Cheetos as a delicacy? Or does this sighting slightly indicate that this filming took place in Australia? 🤷♂️ Angus Sampson’s presence further gives credence to the hunch, but Wikipedia tells me it’s Cape Town, South Africa. Huh. And apparently, Tim Tams and Milo are readily available at US Target and Walmart, so a corner store stocking them is probably not unusual… 🤔 Anyway, Asia shoots her father and goes on the run only to show up again drenched by rain, 10 years later, posing as the Virgil’s new maid. She meets the hotel’s superintendent Lilith (Patricia Arquette) at the front door and Lilith is hiding secrets, Asia is hiding secrets; and here we go.
😮💨 On the whole, I did not enjoy this movie. But I have to reverse engineer why, because They Will Kill You certainly boasts some terrifically savory scenes. It’s around the time the eyeball is rolling round the dusty underground tunnels that I really let out a sigh as if to say, “what are we doing?”. And I’ve come to the conclusion that it all comes down to how this movie doesn’t do a good enough job at establishing its world. Make me care about these murderous immortal goofballs, and the movie can’t. We’ve seen immortal beings in movies before and they’re usually austere and stoic, which makes them appear alluringly wise – this movie takes the opposite approach, and they’re dumb-dumbs. We don’t know anything about Sharon (Heather Graham) other than she lies to Asia that this hotel is a safe space; and we know even less about the others! Bob (Willie Ludik) is an immortal elitest, but he sulks around like a mute brute. He wants to be Leatherface but comes across about as hard as Pollux from The Hunger Games: Mockingjay. I’m not impressed. And ARE they even elite? We’re not even shown that. Living where there is a ballroom, and having maids that are also level to you, doesn’t confirm wealth, and the Virgil does seem more like a prison if nobody is allowed to leave, as Ray (Paterson Joseph) does say. I wonder if Asia had arrived a few hours earlier and allowed us to spend a few hour timespan getting to know the ins and out of the place better, but it’s not really up to me to fix the movie. And that might not have made sense, to go through some initiation meet-and-greet if they were only going to kill her later anyway. But Lilith does cut it fine getting these candidates into the building, and there’s hardly a strong vetting process. The movie doesn’t do a good enough job to explain how Asia is an elite level fighter either – she learnt all that in prison… okay! 🤨 I imagine a scenario where she is recruited in prison by a shadow organisation but she’s adamant they must let her find her sister. They don’t like the Virgil, because it’s a mystery to them, but they let her go in only for her to discover that it’s a shitshow. Nope, the proverbial mattress is too firm, it needs to be more squishy. Translation: we need the movie to contain more soft character moments to sweeten the experience.
And it’s a puzzler, because the movie does contain some enormous moments. Pretty much the entire happenings in Asia’s bedroom are world class, from the vision in the vent, to the attempted abduction and fight to the death with glorious blood splatters everywhere. The way Asia flicks her lighter as we zoom in closer on the vent on the wall, the score, the tension. Although I’m not a huge fan of this movie, director Kirill Sokolov has caught my attention through a great sense of camera and visual storytelling. Again, the entire fight in the dining room is also killer, as Asia lights each victim on fire in the dark as she goes – excellent work. I think it’s fair to assume that this movie is heavily inspired by the works of Tarantino, or at least the works that also inspire him – Kill Bill, Jackie Brown, Pulp Fiction with the non-linear elements; I get a little taste of all of them. They Will Kill You also seems like a true mash up of John Wick and Ready or Not, which actually just had its sequel come out in cinemas a week prior 😮 This movie even answers a final question of “what happened?” with a blunt “rich people”, where Ready or Not opts for “in-laws”, but same-same. And again, this movie wants to be about class warfare, but the theme is really not present in any other form than the verbal suggestion that it is. There is no “there” there. Not everything has to be poignant commentary on everything anyway. I also found it very strange that Asia and Maria’s father is a bristly white dude, because he can’t be abusive and black? It might’ve added some much-needed nuance to this movie if he were black, if Asia incorrectly assumes that Ray is up to no good in her room, wrongly inferring similarities in his attitude to her father, while he turns out to be her biggest help. A sort’ve “you can’t let the past shape you” motif? Just as, for a time, Maria doesn’t want to be saved like she needed 10 years ago, thinking she’s found a safe life of her own now; before she inevitably changes her mind, to be with her sister. And what the hell was an innocent supposed to do with the information “they will kill you” on the bathroom mirror anyway?! Thanks, dude – I’ll just sit in my room and fret for a few hours, or call for help and speed up the process 🙃 (Oh, was she supposed to use the trap door under the carpet? The camera kept hinting that the carpet was raised, and I thought Asia would find a note under there. But I don’t remember any affiliation between the mirror message and the trap door underneath the carpet. Where it actually turns out, Ray is waiting.)
But these movies come out about one a year, I reckon. They’re action packed, display an otherworldly premise, but they’re disposable in the grand scheme of things. There was Boy Kills World, Bad Times at the El Royale, and I’d put Nobody in that category too personally, if it didn’t get a sequel last year. These movies also only go to prove movies like John Wick and Ready or Not are special when they hit because they offer a little more. And that’s not recency bias – although I don’t think either are a perfect movie, I never forgot Ready or Not for its quirk and charm, whereas Bad Times at the El Royale… why, I haven’t thought about it in years 😤 But this is a really cool role for Zazie Beetz, and I’m starting to love her versatility amongst a herd of similarly spunky actresses on the rise. I love her Domino in Deadpool 2, that’s for certain. And here’s a new Halloween costume unlocked with the white and red t-shirt, blue underwear, and a flaming axe too, if you’re careful 😄 The cosplayers will have fun! It’s nice to see Patricia Arquette amongst it again, but what’s with that inconsistent accent? It’s Irish, right? Those Irish folk are at it again, making deals with the devil for immortality, just like Jack O’Connell in Sinners. The accent is even more unnecessary here without the same execution or focused lineage; an affect, nothing more. Tom Felton and Heather Graham could’ve really stayed home, for their roles are unsubstantial other than for the fact that I know their faces, while the other few goons on the chase are virtually indistinguishable. Well, the fat one can’t talk – I already said that. The costumes make me laugh – Ghostface, crossed with something to make James Franco proud: little pig boy. When the goon was licking Asia’s toes, he was little pig boy 🤣 Hey! Toes! There’s another Tarantino adjacence.
An underwhelming one for me, boys and girls. I had my perk up for this one: a hotel full of serial killers and devil worshippers. Alas.
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