It’s a-me, super late with Mario!
If MFs out there want to tell me that Bowser sings a song to rival Barbie’s ‘I’m Just Ken’ for the best musical moment of 2023, then I’ll need to check it out. Oh, who am I kidding – I was always going to check this movie out; I just cleared myself away from audiences clambering to see The Super Mario Bros. Movie in cinemas while I was on a short hiatus. But it’s true, 2023 would not be complete without watching this movie, especially with it currently sitting second for this year’s total box office earnings. Let me say upfront, I have a rudimentary knowledge of the Mario legacy – I clocked Super Mario Bros. Deluxe on my Game Boy Colour back in the day, and I sure do love racing around those tracks on Nintendo’s Mario Kart 64; and I know, I’m weird because I always choose Wario 🟡🟣
Mario and Luigi are brothers, plumbers in business together, looking to spread the good word around Brooklyn. When a watermain bursts on a local street, they mean to lend their expertise to the job, until a secret underground dwelling containing an unusual green pipe sucks the Mario Bros. into a mystical region. Separated, Mario sets out to find his brother and leave this world, with the help of Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom, but will have to do so quickly, before the wicked King Bowser dominates the lands and gets too jealous of our mustachioed hero. Click A to continue.
This animated universe looks fantastic. After the Mushroom Kingdom incorporates so many elements of Mario gameplay, comes Donkey Kong Island, where we first see the karts, and bananas and barrels fill the background. From someone who is not all that familiar with the games, through this movie the Mario Bros. lore almost makes sense! It’s crazy to think that there was a time where people thought video games just couldn’t be translated into movies, and I think The Super Mario Bros. Movie shows that a big marker to identify is in cinematography, giving the action elements of the game a different look and movement track in the movies, than what may’ve been possible before – a perfect example lies in the sequence where Mario undergoes the Princess’s challenge before he can accompany her on her quest, which is thrilling yet familiar to anyone who has ever played the side-scroller. And because of this, I give The Super Mario Bros. Movie the same compliment I gave Godzilla vs. Kong, for keeping the big dumb fun of the obvious incoming action scenes energetic and engaging.
At its best, I think this movie even pushes alongside the big dogs like Shrek, for its worldbuilding and levity with existing mythology, delivering on a similar storyline too – for Mario unites with a Princess, and must face off against the guy with delusions of marrying her. But, to my eye, the fan service teeter-tots, and it could be because half of it doesn’t faze me, or because repetitive eye-candy gets in the way of the developing story. The Super Mario Bros. Movie doesn’t slow down, as it crams in more and more characters, and I recall that I wasn’t a fan of The Lego Batman Movie back in the day because it was too too much, all at once. The character of Donkey Kong remains one-dimensional, and I have this whole thing about Peach, who is introduced to us as a badass, but is then stuck on the sideline mostly thereafter. Characters like Toad still talk to Peach using protective language, like, ‘I won’t let anyone hurt you’, when she’s shown to be a hands-on leader, more than capable of taking care of herself – change the line to ‘I’ll always stand with you’, or something like that, and I won’t even question it. This problem comes because the movie won’t portray Peach as a ‘damsel’, in distress or with other skills, but recognises that it still must be Mario who saves the day 🤷♂️ There were times while watching this movie where I thought I wouldn’t wish to watch this movie again, and that’s crazy since I just compared The Super Mario Bros. Movie to Shrek a few sentences ago. Therefore, clearly, I’m in two minds, because sometimes the movie is so good, particularly in the first half – I loved the plumbing scene, with the evil dog, which provided fun chaos, introduced us to the personalities of the brothers, and their competence levels, whilst also showing why they’re unfortunately not respected in their community yet; not every movie can cover all those parameters so concisely and so quickly. I know the Tomato Meter was pretty split when this movie came out, (it currently stands at 59% for critics, and 95% for audiences) and I think I can recognise where both parties are coming from.
And what’s crazier still is that I don’t think I would’ve been able to pick Chris Pratt voicing Mario if I didn’t already know it was him – it’s a subdued performance, completely right for the character, but less showy than I may’ve expected when I’d heard the big-name talent had earned the role. Similarly, I dug Jack Black as Bowser too, while that casting always felt okay, but didn’t get me overly excited until now I’ve seen it come together. It just goes to show that when a cast is announced, it’s no guarantee you know how it’s going to sound until it’s here – most of the world learnt that for live-action when Heath Ledger was announced as the Joker for The Dark Knight, and now it’s something for me to remember as it translates the same to animation. Yet on the other hand, Seth Rogen’s Donkey Kong is Seth Rogen 😄 If you’ve heard him in other animated roles, from Monsters vs Aliens to Kungfu Panda and The Lion King (2019), then you know what you’re going to get; or, incidentally, just watch Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers where you’ll get all three in one!
Finally, it’s a nitpick, but Luigi is also so impervious to heat in this movie, it’s disturbing 🔥 There’s the death-defying lava scene, where his cage is melted, the glowing manhole cover he holds at the end fighting Bowser, and in the Dark Lands where he climbs over lava-placed rocks, that actually proved to be a small sign of things to come. The movie’s soundtrack is killer though, and I’ve had ‘No Sleep till Brooklyn’ by the Beastie Boys stuck in my head for days now – Shrek had a totally awesome soundtrack as well, just sayin’ 😏 But I’ll give those fawning over Jack Black’s ‘Peaches’ the benefit of the doubt because they weren’t to know that the behemoth in Barbie was right around the corner in April, and some choreographed Kennies were about to smoke ‘em 💨 And compared to how corny this movie could’ve been, and compared to what came before (in 1993 😬), this is a total success, and contains obvious sequel potential. Like, where are Wario and Waluigi? I could be mad that my man doesn’t get a run, but then neither does Yoshi, an absolute fan favourite, so just look out for The Super Mario Bros. Movie 2!
3.5
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