Phew! Well after Mank, I need a palate cleanser; fairy Godmothers on Disney+ should do the trick.
Eleanor Bloomingbottom (Jillian Bell) is the youngest fairy Godmother in the Motherland, the place where Godmothers live. Although she is not yet fully qualified, she is the most passionate fairy Godmother there is. But the Godmothers are out of work; nobody is writing to them anymore, and there are rumours that they may have to shut down their organisation and become tooth fairies, heaven forbid. On a trip past the archives, Eleanor finds a hand-written letter from a young girl asking for help, and secretly takes on the assignment in the hopes of proving that Godmothers are still worth their sequins. Arriving in Boston, Eleanor realises just how old the letter is, when she meets Mackenzie Walsh (Isla Fisher), now a single mother with two kids, and a stressful job where she gets no respect. Come hell or high water, Eleanor is adamant she can still help Mackenzie, but it’s going to require some thinking beyond her expertise.
When it comes to famous fairy Godmothers, of course there’s the one from Cinderella, with her bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, but I’ll take Martin Short’s Murray in the faint people pleaser, A Simple Wish, any day of the week. Murray, with his swishy-swishy, and taking Mara Wilson to Nebraska; ah it’s a guilty pleasure. The fairy Godmother’s main concern in Godmothered is that they’re out of date, and I can’t help but agree with them a little bit – it’s been a while since I’ve heard anyone even mention a fairy Godmother, but that could just be because I’m old. I assume this movie is taking on the challenge of making Godmothers cool again, and it’s kind’ve a miss. From a technical standpoint, I felt poor shot-selections and rapid editing kept distracting me, and the CGI of a racoon character is woeful. Godmothered has also got that Artemis Fowl style convenient setup, where the Headmistress Moira (Jane Curtain) gets called out for sending their organisation down the toilet, by qualified Godmothers in the middle of a class; there’s no time given to an informative dive into how the Godmother organisation works, and it’s very basic that the Godmothers practice the same lesson every day. Worst of all, if Eleanor wanted to save the fairy Godmothers, wouldn’t she tell someone else to go to help Mackenzie? Someone more qualified?
Godmothered doesn’t present many interesting qualities of being a fairy Godmother, beyond having wands, dresses and the ability to turn anything into carriages. Surely there’s an angle to pull, a driving philosophy that Godmothers are a sisterhood that help out aspiring women in their young moments of need; I didn’t sense any of that. It’s all about Eleanor being an optimistic fish-out-of-water whilst touring the real world. I couldn’t support the idea that Mackenzie is being an overly harsh mother either – Mackenzie brings up, like, five examples of when Jane (Jillian Shea Spaeder) has attempted to sing and it’s being a disaster. I mean, trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity, right? Yeah, but that’s not the right attitude, I know; Mackenzie should have encouraged her daughter to keep trying and find ways to help her dreams come true. But she’s also right to be hesitant, that’s all I’m trying to say.
From Hubie Halloween to this, isn’t June Squibb just the coolest geriatric? She is. Earlier this year, I remember that I liked Like a Boss, because even though the cosmetics story was simple and not to my area of expertise, the two lead stars had great chemistry bouncing off one another; I’m sorry Jillian Bell, I know you’ve done excellent work before, but Isla Fisher does all the heavy lifting here and you are as flat as a tack. I’m still trying to figure out if it’s the character of Eleanor that’s the biggest letdown, or if the casting doesn’t fit – Bell is most known for roles where she is hilariously sarcastic and grumpy, so to cast her to play bright and magical is a gamble and it doesn’t pay off. Will Ferrell has made a career out of characters that are ignorantly optimistic, so it’s no surprise why he works so well in Elf – Eleanor is no Buddy, as much as she’s trying to be. But as I say, Isla Fisher is a breath of fresh air, and Godmothered has proven to me that Fisher deserves more opportunities in bigger movies again. Forget that she’s Australian, and I have a massive boner for redheads; that’s not important so don’t even think about that. It truly is because she is really awesome, and I migrated way more to Mackenzie, of the two lead ladies. I, for one, hope she got her driveway shovelled… And how has Godmothered given us the best interpretation of Clarke Kent in over a decade?! Hugh Prince (Santiago Cabrera) is Superman guys, take those glasses off and everyone at the office will see he’s Superman – there’s your rating bonanza, Channel 8!
I can’t believe I’m about to say this because I hate when Disney surprise us with an unexpected villain, but I thought Godmothered was set up pretty well for Headmistress Moira to be an unexpected villain – think about it; as Headmistress of Motherland, her model of Godmothering is running her organisation into the ground, and she could be the reason that no little girls are sending letters anymore because she’s too stuck in her ways. Moira could have hated Eleanor going out in the real world because it risks fairy Godmothers discovering there are alternative ways to help out assignments, ruining her rules. The movie had June Squibb doing nothing but appearing in clocks and spinning records, that she could have taken over at the end as head Godmother with a new super chill strategy. I imagine a scene where Moira and Mackenzie’s boss, Grant (Utkarsh Ambudkar) cross paths when the day is won; Grant says something like ‘you suck too ey, aren’t we the same?’ and Moira tells him to shut up and turns him into another poorly CGI’d racoon or something. See… I made Godmothered better… with my mind.
Disney have been aware that their mainstream ‘happily ever after’ message has been outdated for a while now, but haven’t been completely competent in replacing it; often mocking their old classics that are still beloved. This movie isn’t the answer, in execution, but a huge step in the right direction with intentionality. The message here is ‘live happily’, where the ‘ever after’ part is dropped, taking into account life’s real ups and downs; I like it. The idea that your ‘true love’ can be your family members feels like something completely different though, more like a new idea rather than a twang on the old mythology. There are times where I considered that Godmothered deserved a spot in the trash pile right next to Noelle (they could be Christmas best friends), but it’s not quite that bad, since it does contain some fun and heart-warming moments, even if the journey to get to them is on squeaky wheels. If you have kids, and they insist you watch this with them as we move closer to Christmas, maybe have the vodka at the ready for yourself, and take a shot every time someone says ‘pumpkin.’ Thank me later.
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