Twister… is not great. No, I’m sorry, but it’s not. Chasing twisters that subjectively pick up what they want, and the pang of a main character thinking the skies are personally against them, is silly 🤷♂️ I have a prediction to make though; for instead of the rival scientist, who is only “in it for the money” (and by the by, who gets into meteorology for the money?), Twisters will have an antagonist storm chaser causing trouble as a social media influencer daredevil, risking danger for the clout 😮 That’s a pretty good prediction, I reckon, even if I do say so myself. But, you know, what ye olde Twister does have going for it is Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and enough 90s cheese to construct a second moon (because, you know, the moon is made of cheese 😏). So, if we can get, at least, some good performances, and a sample size of that 90s cheese, then Twisters will be worthwhile. Hey, Top Gun: Maverick was able to expertly recapture those invincible 80s summer vibes and produce a modern blockbuster, so I’m giving Twisters the task of honouring, but extending beyond, the past as well 👍
Kate Cooper (Daisy Edgar-Jones) is this year’s intuitive storm chaser. Kate has been out of action for a while, but when Javi (Anthony Ramos) comes knocking, asking her to head the expertise on a new project, it will lead to Kate revisiting an old idea to help increase resident safety. Twisters is directed by Minari’s Lee Isaac Chung.
The first few minutes would be integral to get a sense of what we would be doing in Twisters – what was this movie going to be about? When we first see the old tornado monitoring equipment, A.K.A. Dorothy, and Kate speaking about someone close to them having steaks ready at the table, I thought, “okay, we’re not changing much.” We’re keeping the carcass of Twister and reupholstering a fresh skin. We’re renovating with a new coat of paint, and cushions, but structurally, things will remain the same. (These analogies translating into English? 🙃) And I wasn’t totally against all that, for the simple reason that when I looked around, I saw Daisy Edgar-Jones, most notably from Where the Crawdads Sing on the big screen, and Anthony Ramos from In the Heights; Daryl McCormack from Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, and Kiernan Shipka, who I thought for a couple minutes was Mckenna Grace, but had her own starring role in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, although I haven’t seen it. I thought, “here’s a talented young cast, portraying vibrant optimistic scientists, and I can’t wait to get in trouble with this lot”… But, pretty soon, the opening sequence is harrowing, and the dangers are strongly palpable. Here I thought these pretty faces were going to be okay, and I was dead wrong, suckered in for maximum affect. 10/10!
That opening sequence genuinely made me feel how I imagine it must’ve felt watching Drew Barrymore in Scream on premier night; and those who know me understand that any favourable comparison to Scream comes straight from the heart ❤ “Maybe I’d underestimated the capability of this movie a little bit”, I thought. But then it turns out, no, sadly no, I hadn’t. No, this movie never reaches the same heights as that first five minutes again, and is, in fact, downright boring in some of the slower parts, where I started to stare at the cinema exit sign 😴 I was half-right in my prediction – there is a social media influencer chasing storms, but it turns out he’s the good guy. Tyler Owens (Glen Powell) doesn’t start out so obviously as Kate’s love interest, (and rarely the good ones do 😍), but honestly, it comes on the back of a plot twist(er) that stands out like dog’s balls. My spidey-senses was tingling as soon as Javi says he works for a land developer to help track tornados and solve their prevention. Just a heads up – there are no good land developers in movies. Plus, what would land developers want with preventing tornadoes? Once the properties are built, their job is done. They’d actually make more money if there were problems, so they can rebuild again… And lo and behold, the movie agrees with me, and look what our city girl is very slow to figure out.
But in a sentence, my biggest bugbear with this movie is how it ramps up the romantic elements of its ninety’s predecessor, and tones down the action spectacle. Moments where our characters are in fear of their lives are nice – the ending is good enough, and the pool scene is the biggest highlight following the beginning. The oil refinery explosion is a cool visual, but as the moment comes, I found it so hollow, as nobody is really getting chased, nor did I feel anyone was in real danger. No, this movie is mostly about a cocksure cowboy from the other side of the tracks, having to crack through the tough exterior of a damaged damsel, to make her see love again 🙄 So cliché. Probably bodes well for date night, but I’d prefer the original divorce plotline. I also haven’t seen Anyone But You, so I’m not equipped to accept Powell as a hunka-hunka burning beefcake yet neither. I didn’t come into this movie thinking I was desiring anything specific, but as push comes to shove, I guess I would’ve enjoyed Twister as a survival horror, perhaps even making it akin to something like 1917, in that the tension never lets up. I thought it was bold that this movie does kill off some people, as I’m pretty sure the original does not; and at the end of the day, I also must take some responsibility for personally not liking this movie, because as I said in the opener, I’m not a huge fan of the source material, so what should I expect? I suppose I was excited for something like last year’s live action The Little Mermaid, that was able to take a beloved cartoon and improve upon it in a way I liked (visuals, acting, and controversy aside; I’m merely talking story).
The most fun I had with Twisters was watching the restraint with which this movie refrains from having another flying cow blow across our screens 😏 C’mon, you know you were expecting it too, but Twisters doesn’t pander so low. Actually, the callbacks to the original were rather well done – the cinema screen gets destroyed in a similar fashion to the nineties drive-in, and a small town mama holds her baby girl safe down in the pool, mirroring the drama of Twister’s opening. I think there’s a prominent Pepsi machine in the original as well, like there is here, but I can’t quite remember. I thought this movie tried to include some relevant scientific explanations too – I learnt precisely how tornados are categorized, so credit where credit is due, that’s a bonus. But ultimately, even if Twisters is deemed okay by the critics and general masses, I didn’t have fun. And come Christmas time, Kevin McCallister in Home Alone is going to ask, “did anyone order me a plain cheese?” and I did, Kev. But I didn’t get it 🙁 It’s July 2024, and I’m cheese-less 😩 I might’ve been better off staying home and scraping the red mist of my Twisties instead of watching Twisters. And Twisties, Twisters, Twisters… Did someone say KFC?
2.0
P.S. I still like seeing Sasha Lane pop up from time to time.
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