Here, I’ve only seen the first ‘Crow movie, but I understand there’s four of these things – one with Tara Reid and one with Kirsten Dunst, too. As a straightforward revenge flick, I enjoy The Crow. I enjoy The Crow as a kind’ve low-level Gotham City noir-style story, and considering The Crow is based on comic material, and came out hot on the heels of Tim Burton’s Batman success, I think it tracks. Also, Heath Ledger’s Joker performance had to take some inspiration from The Crow; I don’t care what anybody says. I noticed, at one point, the vengeful Crow dribbles in the original too, which innately reminded me of Pennywise from the It movies, which brings us nicely to Bill Skarsgård, and his 2024 The Crow remake, directed by Rupert Sanders.
Eric (Bill Skarsgård) knows anguish… because his cow died once covered in barbed wire 😄 Then, Eric meets Shelly (FKA Twigs), in a drug-rehab correctional facility, while she’s still on the run from a past that involves a shady supernatural organisation out to kill her. Eric and Shelly fall in love, but when Vincent Roeg’s (Danny Huston) cronies catch up to them, in death, Eric is offered a choice to avenge Shelly at the cost of his immortal soul.
I know serious circumstances befell the original ‘Crow’s production, but one thing the end product of that movie had going for it was that it was quick! This ‘Crow spends a lot of time on establishing a romance, and whilst I personally don’t mind it, there comes a point where you question when the Crow part is about to take place. I’m also not familiar with the sequels, but my take on the Crow’s lore is that it tends to lend itself to taking different and multiple outings in any number of inhabitants, wherever there’s unbalanced injustice in the world, and the Crow can be anyone, so it’s a choice to rehash the Eric and Shelly story all over again. I mean, theoretically, the Crow could show up in feudal Japan, for instance, if a Prey sequel isn’t already marking that time period with the Predator (and that’s hoping, because it damn well should 🤞). Eric and Shelly meet in… a joint prison?! Okay, The Crow takes place in a fantasy land, I can go with that, but the lengths that the guards are supposedly imposed to go to, to apply rules that each gender stick to their side is absurd, because inmates be fucking 😎 Shelly’s tattoo reads “laugh now, cry later” above and under the comedy and tragedy masks; and it’s too soon to tell, but this might be a better love story than what Joker and Harley Quinn will offer in Joker: Folie a Deux, we’ll have to see 😄
This movie is only 9 minutes longer than the original, but it feels like so much more, foregoing style for more grounded realism and explanation; and in doing so, undoes a bit of the movie magic. There’s now a middle portion of this movie where Eric has to learn how to be the Crow, lose some fights, and investigate Shelly’s death, and I remember the Crow having such an innate purpose in the original, because it was supernatural. There are many times where Eric’s “Crow-ness” seems inconsequential to the mission, other than the fact that he can regenerate, and this could be any person’s revenge. Even more so, the movie wants to highlight the Crow’s pain and healing factor for visual prowess – like with his broken leg, for instance – which is not unlike something we may’ve seen in Logan, but I’m just not sure if this is the right character to do it with, when, again, before, we’ve seen the Crow mentally impervious to all physical consequences. We truly only get one badass and recognisable Crow fight scene, and that’s the finale. Positively, I liked the splatters of black blood whenever the Crow gets injured, and I liked spending more time with Shelly at the beginning, when she is completely overlooked in the original. Skarsgård is doing what is appropriate for this characterisation of Eric, so the overall quality of the movie is not hampered any further by his performance. Plus, surely Danny Houston has to be on some lists as one of Hollywood’s all-time best villain actors, yeah? X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Wonder Woman, 30 Days of Night, and how many more? I’m just saying, how come Christoff Waltz gets all the attention? 😄 Because when Huston in on set, you know we’re in good hands. But on the other hand, FKA Twigs might be fine, but I’ve already pledged an allegiance to Myha’la in this round of British actresses that look the same. And I say Twigs is fine, but she could also be part of the reason that I eventually don’t care about Shelly’s freedom though. Why does she get a second chance, if Vincent has killed thousands? What makes Shelly and Eric’s love so special?
And by the way, The Crow is also incredibly violent. I did not care for it one bit. Which is quite funny because I would consider Deadpool & Wolverine quite violent, but I like that. I guess the violence still has to be stylized – even John Wick, or even more so is something like Sicario, go for realism too, but know when to cut away. Some people mightn’t be as squeamish as me, but I found the gore off putting. But The Crow is not the worst thing I’ve ever seen in the world – it’s probably just as forgettable as something like Claire Foy’s The Girl in the Spider’s Web, but not completely awful, like David Harbour’s Hellboy. Although it’s not great if they’re the two comparisons that come to mind 😬 If looking for a way to differentiate between The Crow of 1994, and this movie, just know I’ll be referring to this movie as “Eshay of the Afterlife”.
Finally, if The Crow wants to deconstruct the story so much, then I think the format for this is a limit series. A limited series would’ve allowed the movie to explore more into Marian (Laura Birn), as Vincent’s right-hand woman, and potentially, former student. As well as Vincent’s backstory, including what deal he once made to gain his powers, and if any Crows have come for him before. A limit series would have budgeted more time for other characters too, like tattooist Chance (Jordan Bolger), who shows up inconsequentially before he dies; and Vincent’s next musical prodigy, who disappears from the movie like blackbirds in a King’s pie. Also, Vincent, don’t bring your next protégé on a car ride to see you care less about a woman splatting on the concrete, unless you’re going to follow up on that somehow… 😕 A limited series could’ve also gifted this story more time to differentiate in theme – young love, sure, but more importantly, purity vs. corruption, and rich vs. poor. I’ll maintain that The Crow has some good ideas, but it’s not there. But also, not everything needs to be explained in detail either! Yet don’t worry, because Kraven the Hunter is coming up around the corner, and looks, for all money, to be wanting to do the same, so this probably won’t be the worst comic book movie of the year 😄
1.5
P.S. Right before our lovers get murdered, Shelly tells Eric to leave the club, and Shelly says, “let’s go back to your place”. Your place?! Criminals don’t usually keep up their rent, I don’t think. Either that, or it’s been months, and they’ve been able to find a place, but then why wouldn’t they have left the city? Very strange. Anyway, it’s a plot wrinkle that I couldn’t let go.
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