It’s that time of year again, where I let the wonderful world of movies inform me on a famous name in literature. Sometimes it’s Agatha Christie, but often it’s been Stephen King, when I’ve written about Firestarter, Doctor Sleep, In the Tall Grass, It, and Pet Sematary, in the most recent years. I did go back and watch the 1979 version of ‘Salem’s Lot for the first time before this one, but I also want to try to put myself in the position of someone watching this movie as if it were brand new material, so we’ll see how I go 😬 The 1979 version of Salem’s Lot is fine, but I do have some questions.
The sly Mr. Straker (Pilou Asbæk) gets an unusual box delivered to his mysterious house in Jerusalem’s Lot. Later that week, a young boy goes missing, and only reappears to his friends with a supernatural leaning 😈 Meanwhile, author Ben Mears (Lewis Pullman) has come home to ‘Salem’s Lot to conduct research for his new book, and takes an old-fashioned liking to local resident Susan (Makenzie Leigh). As an unholy terror escalates, these two could form the first line of defense against a suffocating danger… Is that plot description, opaque enough? 😄 I really tried not to give too much away. But I will now…
I really like how the movie begins with the small town’s delivery men placing Barlow’s coffin in the basement. It supposedly sets this movie’s foundation, that, here is the threat, and we’ll watch it takes hold. That said, whist this movie has the effort of a couple good ideas that take the initiative to tease out the drama, and condense the story an hour shorter than the 1979 version, the first third is really missing a gusto that makes it worth watching ☹ As for the 1979 version, I actually considered it a prototype for Twin Peaks, where an unspoken evil is ever present, but way down under the intersection of our townspeople’s lives, and I was interested to see how this movie would go about condensing the melodrama and ratcheting up the scares. For how unsettling I’m sure the 1979 version was back in its day, by today’s standards, the entire exercise is thin on the bone. But unfortunately, this sleeker edition is evermore lifeless and flat. Ben is terribly weak as a lead protagonist, and he doesn’t even mention his belief that the Marsten House is a harbinger of evil. 2024’s ‘Salem’s Lot really meanders around, introducing characters haphazardly, when I feel like the previous version was really good at giving purpose to the faces, and fleshing out the town as a community. I just feel like the beginning of this movie is missing an emotional anchor – a central theme or driving idea to help us invest in the story. The production team really should’ve watched Micheal Tucker’s “Lessons from the Screenplay”, on YouTube, to act as a defibrillator much needed to revitalise this movie.
Let’s debate the finer points. I actually anticipated more jump-scares concerning Barlow, and was disappointed they weren’t there. I know, I know, it’s counter to most of my arguments, and jump-scares are cheap, but Barlow’s appearance is appropriately sensational, plus he’s first presented through the eyes of a child, and this movie needs some sizzle. I also cannot believe this movie didn’t bend over backwards to recreate the window scene, which is easily the most iconic still shot of the 1979 version, although it comes around again later. And I know, these nitpicks may seem preferential, and sometimes, a movie can be damned if it does and damned if it doesn’t; but it’s all “horses for courses”, based on seeing what a movie has done and hasn’t worked, and deciding, “not that” or “what would the opposite be like?”, to find the most thrilling idea. Having said all that, the seesaw moment to lure kid’s kid brother is affective, and then the blood bag scene in the hospital is visceral, setting the scene better than anything that had become before. I had my fingers crossed that this be where the plot’s momentum could kick in 🤞
I did enjoy how the crosses light up, and blow away vampires in their line of sight. Matthew Burke (Bill Camp) is attacked in his own house, and it might just be the best scene of the movie. But like many things across this movie, the knowledge acquired on how to approach the sudden vampire infestation is all too casual. It’s all comic books, and volumes on folklore, as if the likelihood of vampire attacks in small rural towns is as common as hailstorms. There is a way that this story could’ve gone about not knowing anything about vampires, but deciding they must be unholy, merely stumbling upon the Lord’s symbolism as a correct source of protection – I would like to see that. On top of contrivances, there are inconsistencies, like how Mrs. Glick (Danielle Perry) has no blood after she turns, and some vampires puff into smoke when they’re killed, while others leave a bloody mess 🤷♂️ And why does Mr. Burke go straight to Ben when troubled by the sleepy gravedigger’s sickness, and not the doctor, or policeman, who are meant to deal with such things, and presumably, have known Burke and Mike (Spencer Treat Clark) for more of their lives? 🤷♂️🤷♂️ The movie just does a really poor job of depicting this town as a town to care about, and no number of deserted street shots later on can save it. Positively, I may like young Mark (Jordan Preston Carter) investigating on his own, even more so than in the original – the 1979 version starts with a snippet of Ben and Mark saving the day together, which so strangely gives the game away from the very beginning, that they will be the unlikely two left standing. It’s a preface that might work in the book, but not for a movie, and thankfully, this movie does away with it. The drive-in showdown, for the finale, is fine, if you’ve decided not to focus on the Marsten house as your backdrop; but you cannot convince me that a hoard of vampires would leave their trunks to attack while the sun is still up. C’mon ‘Salem’s Lot, I can’t be doing all the thinking for you!
Okay, and just my obligatory accolades to close. I love Bill Camp. I love Afre Woodard. So whatever movie, horror or otherwise, that keeps them employed, will be worth its while on that basis alone. Too bad I can’t walk away from this movie singing the praises of any other participants though, as my official horror season winds to an end. ‘Salem’s Lot doesn’t succeed in giving me the feels, of a humble town that is under siege, insular or otherwise, nor does it give me the scares, or chills, of a good freak fest! Why, it’s just a bunch of stuff that happens.
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