At a local gym, obnoxious white-boy Jeremy (Jack Harlow) gets under the skin of failed basketball prodigy Kamal (Sinqua Walls), so much so that Kamal offers a shooting contest for coin. But it was all a ruse, you see, as Jeremy is quite adept in the skill of basketball, and happily takes Kamal’s money. In their separate lives, the pair struggle with money woes, both trying to find a secondary passion with pro ball aspirations seemingly behind them, and wanting to build a future with their girls. When a 2-man basketball tournament opens up, Kamal asks Jeremy to be his partner for a split of the $500, 000 first prize. Calmatic directs.
I’m relatively new to the original White Men Can’t Jump as I only saw it for the first time a matter of months ago. I wasn’t around when the initial reviews came in, and although I think it’s a little cheesy, as the young kids would say these days… I found it a vibe. I like the concept, along with the sun and the sand; Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, and Rosie Perez all have pizazz. I would definitely say it has the nostalgia factor that Hollywood loves to try to replicate – and now we have 2023’s White Men Can’t Jump. For this review, I haven’t bothered to rewatch the first one more recently, to be aligned with the tiniest inside jokes and subtleties, because at the end of the day, as long as White Men Can’t Jump can capture some of the essence and charm of the original, like last year’s He’s All That, then that’ll be enough. I assume White Men Can’t Jump should be made with a modern audience in mind who mightn’t have even seen the original as well.
And so, let’s get quickly into the movie’s biggest problem – the leads are a letdown. I know the name, Jack Harlow, but with all the movies I watch, I don’t have much time for music; a little investigation turns out that Harlow has 3 multi-platinum singles in Australia, so he’s no schlub, but he’s far from talented enough to be the charismatic lead this movie requires him to be, at this stage of his acting career. Many musicians have made the leap to cinema over the years, but this movie’s greatest misstep is leaning so heavily on Harlow’s performance, as this movie hinges on it. Sinqua Walls, as Kamal, isn’t anywhere near as bad, but his role is to be the straight man, so he needs Harlow to bounce off him to make this duo work. It’s like the movie got a recognisable name to put on the poster and was happy with that, or maybe, it’s simply a scenario where you book an up and comer, and when it’s obvious it’s not going well, you’re already committed, and so you just have to do the best with what you have – which would make me sympathetic to the rest of the production. Laura Harrier is here, an actress adding some chops to this piece, most recognisable for her blockbuster work as Liz Allen in Spider-Man: Homecoming. Kamal’s girlfriend, Imani, played by Teyana Taylor, is probably my favourite performance of the movie, although the ladies are really given very little to do. Comedian Andrew Schulz shows up for two scenes to audition for another movie. And I was wrapped to see Lance Reddick on screen for perhaps my last time, but this MF is on his deathbed again – art imitating life a little too much for my liking, and I don’t like it ☹
Conversely, I don’t think the script is that bad – an ending where the hero coward-punches a trash-talker in the crowd is probably awkwardly un-PC, even for my taste, and the movie opts for a safer ending than the harsh reality check that White Men Can’t Jump delivers before; but the jokes get to play relevantly with race in a way that other modern movies can’t, and giving a stronger backstory to the ‘black guy’ character was a good move. Vince Staples and Myles Bullock grew on me as the quibbling comic relief, and as this movie has been exclusively released on Disney+ in Australia, I’d like to say they’re the wisecracking sidekicks you’re most likely to find in a Disney animated classic 😊 Renzo (Myles Bullock) is always eating 😄 The movie is also stuffed with current NBA player acknowledgements, which I didn’t mind. Harlow’s portrayal aside, there’s the spirit of an intelligent upgrade to Jeremy here as well, affronting to his peers not simply for being white, but with a ‘soy boy’ image that he takes pride in – the socks with sandals, detox products, and mediation, to name the evidence. I was begging for the first quarter of this movie to go outside, as the sunshine was a great appeal of the original movie – it thankfully does eventually, and maybe it’s a comment on the easier access to gyms these days, where these hubris hustles might take place, but the start came across as adversely contained, and perhaps easier to film. I think it’s keen to remember that Hustle was the sophisticated modern basketball movie that came out last year, whereas White Men Can’t Jump was never that, and all this remake needs to be is trashy fun. But unfortunately, the damage is done early, through a disconnect to the main characters, and a lead duo that aren’t elevating the material, and so it’s easy to check out of this experience, remembering a better buddy flick that has it all. I’m just looking up the writers of this movie now – Kenya Barris and Doug Hall – and they have established television careers; I would say they did their job on this script, and I look forward to their next one.
1.5
Leave a Reply