The short of it is, I recently rewatched Spotlight, and because Tom McCarthy directed and wrote that movie so brilliantly, I looked up his filmography to see what else he was working on, and it turns out he has just released this children’s movie to Disney+. Why a children’s movie for Disney+, I wondered? Luckily, I have the resources to investigate – (yeah, I wrote that introduction before knowing that this movie was about; how humorously coincidental, ha ha!). Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made is based off a best-selling book series for kids. The film follows Timmy Failure and his Polar Bear companion as they set out to solve mysteries around suburban Portland through their homegrown detective agency – the movie sounds more interesting than it actually is, trust me.
I do not understand Timmy at all; this kid is a nut! It’s all well and good to have a hobby solving minor crimes around the neighbourhood and creating your own world in your mind, but Timmy’s imagination severely affects his ability to communicate with people and function at school. It’s a serious problem! It’s hard to root for the kid with the scruffy mullet sitting alone on the fence line at recess, who is hostile when other kids come near him. I feel bad; this is the second child-led movie this year that I’m ragging out already – maybe I’m just a bitter old man now and I can’t connect with the ‘youth these days’, I don’t know. Without having seen any of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies, I suspect Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made is trying to appeal to the same audience, and it’s fair to admit that I’m probably out of touch with what preteen boys are caring to read these days, and which novel-adapted movies they will latch onto – I just don’t know exactly where the appeal for Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made would come from. Nothing at all happens, while detective Timmy spasmodically suggests a connection between minor instances that occur around town. The movie urges us to go along with Timmy, and I guess some of the more adult dialogue he spurts out is cute, but I’d say he’s best suited for a child psychologist.
Right as the movie gets going, we understand that Failure is literally Timmy’s last name. Since his father leaves when he is six, it leads me to ask, who really is a Failure? Is the man who failed to care for his son a Failure? Or is Failure Timmy’s mother’s maiden name, and Timmy was named something else by tradition, but his mother revised his name back to Failure after the father split? I’m just saying, there’s a few scenarios where poor Timmy doesn’t have to go through life as a Failure; especially since his and his mother lives aren’t going so well at the moment, despite their best efforts, maybe they’d consider changing their names from Failure to anything else just to not have such negative energy following them around as they try to get by. I just found the entire ‘Failure’ niche on the nose, and perhaps it works for the book, but the movie presents it so seriously and never brings it around full circle to make it something meaningful; like, the mother never presents a family history to Timmy that imposes Failures have typically been high achievers, or something. Timmy then unironically names his Polar Bear ‘Total’, as if that’s an appropriate choice to inspire greatness.
I enjoyed the Polar Bear; he is well animated, plays out some interesting situations and looks cool walking down the streets. But I think it’s pretty obvious within the context of the story that he isn’t real, he’s imaginary, and doesn’t offer anything to the character of Timmy Failure. Total, more often than not, annoys Timmy, and acts as another hindrance to his detective work, similarly to all the other characters in Timmy’s town. It’s made clear that Total enters Timmy’s world at the exact moment his father walks out on him, and maybe Total is a coping mechanism, but I think it would make more sense if Timmy felt like Total was the only one he could relax with, but he’s not. Total is an integral part of Timmy’s detective agency, and a significant presence for Timmy, but the movie doesn’t want to explain how, and would rather have a triumphant moment where this faux polar bear returns to a zoo enclosure that’s supposed to be closed for renovations. Maybe Total is real; the old lady certainly seems to see something in the back of the truck near the end of the movie, but she could be just as loopy as Timmy.
There were times where I thought I saw glimpses of what this story could become but nothing eventuated – at one point I thought Timmy was going to inadvertently uncover come grotesque plot by actual Russians, and his delusional conspiracies would unexpectedly hold some merit, but no. When Timmy’s friend Rollo (Kei) joined the caper briefly, I thought the movie might turn out to be a tale of the value of childhood imagination and friendship forged through inspired adventure, but no. Timmy doesn’t spend a long time with one other single character. Timmy also doesn’t solve a single mystery – the backpack, the hamster, the Segway (is solved, but by the parking attendant), or the Russians. Even the destructive introduction turns out to be a fake-out that never occurs. The supporting characters aren’t much chop, except for maybe Molly Moskins (Chloe Coleman) as the sparkly optimistic tangerine-smelling classmate who can see some charisma in Timmy’s antics. Perhaps more interesting events happen in the sequels, but I think I’d rather never find out.
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made is the fourth original release to Disney+ and the second absolute stinker. Disney are killing it on the big screen, and their streaming service offers up all the classics, so I doubt these original movies from the dregs are going to put a dent in the brand anytime soon, I’m just saying, if you don’t have Disney+ but have a good DVD collection, you’re not missing out. I did see this movie had an 88% on Rotten Tomatoes and channelled Elmer Fudd from rival studio Warner Bros. to react to that – “there’s something screwy going on around here.” I don’t know what Tom McCarthy was thinking when he took on this project; perhaps his kids love the book, or he was thinking ‘franchise potential’, or maybe he just needed to eat that week – he’s got another movie on the way later this year starring Matt Damon and Abagail Breslin so I pray to God that it’s good. As for Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made, I don’t know, you crazy kids have fun with it if you can; I had Spotlight on the brain and this movie is so far below the bar it’s not funny. I was never bored, nor did I enjoy myself, as I waited for something to happen.
0.5
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