Ok, I saw the first Christmas Chronicles when it first came out, back in the day (2018), but I don’t remember a lick about it. I have to Wikipedia the plot to get back up to speed and refresh my memory. I remember it had Kurt Russell as Santa, and I thought it was fine, but that’s about it. Obviously, it occupied that sweet spot of discardable entertainment that didn’t leave an impact… Mmm, that’s right, Santa gets offended that the kids think he says ‘Ho Ho Ho’ and calls it an urban myth; yeah, that was a funny joke. Anyway, I simply must see what chapter 2 brings, don’t I? I’m a completionist and the Christmas spirit is alive and well!
‘Kitty’ Kate Peirce (Darcy Camp) is bummed out; her family is holidaying on sunny beaches for Christmas, instead of the traditional setup of snow and hot chocolate. She’s also confused because her Mum is getting really cosy with her new boyfriend, and she doesn’t want the memory of her father, who passed away, to disappear. In her cranky mood, Kate decides it best if she returns home, running away from the holiday. Her possibly soon-to-be step-brother Jack (Jahzir Bruno) follows her, and makes himself known just as Belsnicker (Julian Dennison) a disgruntled elf, transports both Kate and Jack to the cold outskirts of the North Pole. Fortunately, Kate is pals with Santa Claus (Kurt Russell), and Santa comes to the rescue, taking them back to Santa’s Village. Ah, but this was Belsnicker’s plan all along, as a means to sneak his way back into the North Pole, to disrupt, destroy and take over Christmas. Santa and Mrs. Clause (Goldie Hawn) are going to need all the help they can get to save Christmas.
I decided that I was going to need to turn my brain off to get through this movie, around the time we find out that the bad boy is actually an elf that turned into a human as a result of being naughty, which is pretty early on. And I’m glad I did, because this movie takes more blind turns than the elderly on a freeway. If you mapped out the plot points of this movie, it would look like the human circulatory system. It also didn’t take long to realise that this movie would be a great time, if watched as a young family. The movie contains picturesque shots of Santa’s Village (oops, sorry, ‘Mrs. Claus’s Village’) and the hundreds of elves all reminded me of Babu Frik from Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker; irrefutable the cutest thing to come out of that disappointment. I prefer these mystical elves immensely over the little people and children that usually portray elves. The Christmas Chronicles 2 isn’t afraid to introduce its own kooky lore, and I can see kids staying super engaged with the fast pace, and riffing on the movie afterwards, pretending their gingerbread men might explode, or imagining they’re defending the North Pole with Nerf guns. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are so enjoyable as Mr. and Mrs. Claus, bringing their real love to the rolls no doubt. Whether it be, when the movie adds what I will call The Blues Brothers flare with an impromptu music number, or when Santa is embracing his competitive edge against Belsnicker, Kurt Russell just looks and feels like the perfect Santa. He’s a sly bugger too – he knew what would happen as soon as he sent Kate to get batteries, I’m sure of it.
The crazier The Christmas Chronicles 2 gets, the more I got into it honestly; there’s one Go-Pro shot of a startled reindeer, that started me chuckling, then there’s elves juggling chainsaws and a sleigh battle through the sky! There are times when Belsnicker is so proud of his plan, but so out of his depth against Santa’s magic, I kind’ve wanted him to succeed, just for a laugh. The movie spares no bounds informing you that Belsnicker is bad news – he wears his cap backwards, with a hoodie and a leather vest as well; cliché you say, but I’m shook at the evil 😊. Belsnicker’s sleigh reminded me of Dick Dastardly’s Mean Machine from Wacky Races, and goes all out with those destructive side-blades like Waldo’s go-kart in The Little Rascals. But Santa was always going to save the day; bad luck Belsnicker, go back to selling Lynx, bro.
Then I see, at the end, that The Christmas Chronicles 2 is directed by Chris Columbus – that was an added surprise. Did he direct the first one? I don’t think so. No, Chris Columbus hasn’t directed anything since 2015: Pixels (ugh, speaking of the Wacky Races, just to mention Pixels makes me want to mutter unintelligible frustration like Muttley; yeesh!). But Chris Columbus has Home Alone and Home Alone: Lost in New York under his belt, so the man knows how to make a movie with Christmas spirit, and he shows it again here. The movie even finds time to add in soft messages about spending Christmas with your family and believing in yourself.
There’s been movies where villains have tried to hijack Christmas before – The Santa Clause 3 had a similar plot with Martin Short as Jack Frost, but this is better. This is an escapist adventure for the whole family; the only disappointment might be the amount of reading necessary to understand the elves, and small children might struggle with that. But since I don’t have a young family, I personally felt it’s applicable to borrow a quote from one of my idols, Jeremy Jahns, and admit watching this movie might have been an even better time, ‘if I was drunk’ – note to self, if I’ve had a few bevvies Christmas night, pop on The Christmas Chronicles 2 again.
3.5
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